Cultivating Mindfulness

     Yesterday, I held a free Mindfulness workshop at the local library.  I wanted to share strategies that participants could use on a daily basis.
        You see, until fairly recently, I falsely equated mindfulness with long sessions of yoga and meditation. While those activities are definitely good for developing mindfulness, it's an unfortunate myth that you need to set aside large chunks of time to be more present. I appreciate yoga and meditation, but I don't prioritize those activities. I have had much better results incorporating short, daily mindfulness practices and I wanted to share that with other busy people. I know several people wanted to come to the workshop but couldn't make it, so I'm summarizing the strategies here. You're welcome. 
​       Mindfulness Strategy #1:  Find an Anchor  An anchor is a lovely metaphor.  Just as an anchor on a ship keeps it from straying too far from its location, an anchor for your mind can keep you from straying too far from the present moment. If you find yourself going down rabbit holes of thought or feeling undesired emotions, an anchor can reel you back in. Some example anchors include:

• Your breath: "Just breathe!"  I know this has become cliche'. But I challenge you to give it a try. It's easy to pretend to focus on your breath without giving a good solid try. If you can stop and take 3 deep breaths, you can bring yourself back to the present moment and potentially take the edge off an unsavory emotion or even save yourself from reacting in a way you will regret.
• An object: My daughter uses our cats as an anchor. When she is charged up, she will go to her room and pet the cats until she calms down. My other daughter has always had a blanket that comforts her. The only problem with an object is that you might not always have it with you. I have known people to use a necklace or ring as an anchor object. And this is the whole idea behind worry stones or fidget spinners; the object gives focus.
• A thought (or mantra): I like this because, like your breath, an anchor thought is always accessible to you, and you can have several that you refer to depending on the situation. We brainstormed anchor thoughts in the workshop, and here are some of my favorites: "I can react from a place of love."  "Every thought is a choice."  "In this moment, there is not a problem." "I allow myself to be still." You can find other ideas here. Feel free to comment with more examples and/or what works for you.

      Mindfulness Strategy #2: Body Scan  A body scan is a short meditation that focuses on connecting your mind and body. You can find many versions of body scans out there, and you can walk yourself through them by simply focusing your thoughts and breath on each part of your body in an organized scan. You can go from head to toes, from core to extremities or from extremities to core. This is a nice way to remind yourself that you have a body and are in control of it. In the workshop, I demonstrated the Quiet Power-Centered Presence Meditation developed by Dr. Stuart Heller. It is short, repetitive, and powerful. I recorded audio of myself saying Quiet Power, so feel free to use it.
      Mindfulness Strategy #3: Thought Download   For verbal and visual people, this can be a helpful exercise. The concept is very simple: Take five minutes to write down ALL of your thoughts surrounding a certain issue (your in-laws visiting, a project that is stressing you out, a difficult conversation, etc) or feeling (anxiety, stress, sadness). Do not censor or judge, just let it flow. This alone can be enough to allow you to move on. However, it can also be a springboard to many other in-depth activities such as recognizing facts versus assumptions, seeing/understanding your thought process, and beginning to take those hurtful or unproductive thoughts and changing them to something new. A life coach can be very supportive of this process. (Hint, hint.)
       Mindfulness Strategy #4: Feel the Feels    ​This  can be challenging, but it is sooooo good for you if you can put the time in to practice. When you are feeling an undesirable emotion such as anxiety or fear or stress, you often don't realize that those emotions are not signs of actual danger. In fact, any time you are in actual danger, you aren't sitting there feeling anxiety...you are running or fighting or surviving. So anxiety (or any emotion) is simply a set of sensations in your body in reaction to your thoughts. If you can accept it and allow yourself to feel it, you can let go of it more easily than if you ignore it, quash it, or fight it.  Try these 4 steps to help demystify and therefore free yourself from some emotions that aren't serving you.

1. Name it.   Be as specific as possible. Call it out for what it is. Anger, sadness, frustration, shame, guilt, etc. Say to yourself, "I am *insert emotion here* right now."
2. Describe it.  How does the feeling literally feel in your body? Is your heart racing? Does your chest feel tight? Are you clenching your fists? Does your face feel hot and flushed? Do you have a lump in your throat? Describe the sensations of the emotion to yourself with as much detail as possible. Write it down if like. Remember that an emotion is only combination of sensations in your body.
3. Let it flow. Allow yourself to feel angry or sad or ashamed.  Wallow in it for a minute. Feel all the complex depths of it because that is what it means to be alive. Realize that the uncomfortable emotions are part of life and part of the reason we can recognize and appreciate the more fun and feel-good emotions. It might even help to tell yourself that "It's okay to feel angry sometimes" or "this is the part of the day where I feel anxious" and then just let it be. Don't judge. Don't fight it. Don't react. Just be that emotion.
4. Let it go. Let it flow and let it go. It really is that simple. That's not to say it's easy, but if you can be honest with what you are feeling and allow yourself a minute to really feel it, you will find that you can let it go and move on. Think of it like little messes in your house. If you ignore the little messes, they won't just magically disappear. They will become bigger messes and dustier messes. The clean up doesn't get easier with time. Likewise, your emotions don't just disappear when ignored...they fester. So don't ignore your emotions. Feel the feels and then move on.

      Mindfulness Strategy #5: Loving Kindness Meditation  This is another short meditation that can  be done anywhere. This is a good one for increasing feelings of goodwill toward others...and can't we use more of that in our world these days? Here's the idea: you picture people in your mind, always starting with yourself, and to each person, you repeat these wishes: "May you feel safe. May you feel content. May you feel strong. May you live with ease." In this video, Sylvia Boorstein leads a loving kindness meditation that starts with yourself, then moves on to a loved one, a "familiar stranger," "unfamiliar strangers," and the people in the room.  It is also very powerful to send the loving kindness wishes out to a person who challenges you, perhaps even somebody you don't like. Give it a try and radiate love out into the universe.

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​Hopefully you can find a strategy or two in that list that resonates with you. Try them all and report back to let me know which ones were the most effective. 
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