Lessons from a Legend

Last week, I attended the Women's Foundation of Colorado's annual luncheon. The whole experience was uplifting and inspiring, starting with simply being there with my mother-, aunt- and sister-in-law, all of whom are models of strong, intelligent, ambitious women, and ending with the keynote speaker Billie Jean King.  I don't follow tennis, but I am familiar with King's iconic status, and I learned a lot about her work toward gender equality (in the sport of tennis and beyond) and her activism on a broad spectrum of issues. She has lived a very proactive and impressive life. On a side note, I also learned that she has a close friendship to Sir Elton John and his song "Philadelphia Freedom" was written for her.  Good stuff. 
       At the luncheon, her talk was set up in an interview format, and if I'm being honest, King did not directly answer any of the questions asked by the interviewer. She went off on tangents, rambled, repeated herself at times, and often failed to return to the original topic. Still, her charisma carried her and her talk was full of gems for how to get the most out of life. As soon as she started talking, I was furiously scribbling notes in the margins of the program because her words of wisdom were so powerful, and her history gives her the credibility that made me take it all to heart. So here you go...nuggets of wisdom from Billie Jean King:

• "Be a problem solver. Champions adapt and adjust every single day." Her path to tennis success was not easy nor straightforward. When you come up against challenges or if things aren't going according to your expectations, remember that you have the skills needed to problem solve. Adjust your strategy; adapt to the new situation; don't be a victim to your circumstances (because there will ALWAYS be circumstances).
• "Start looking at your failures as feedback." I love this. As you know, I'm a big fan of reframing the negative to the positive. In fact, I encourage you to take this one step further. Stop calling it failure. Call it feedback. For example, I had an intro session with a potential client. She was younger than most of my clients (a "millennial") and she didn't sign on for more coaching. I can look at this as a failure or I can reframe it as feedback. How could I better meet the needs of a client like this?
• "Don't take things personally. It's not about you--it's about them. They said it." Clearly, a woman who challenges (and beats) men in highly publicized sporting events and then later comes out as a lesbian is going to have some haters.  King did not get where she is by censoring her personality or by caring what others think of her.  She acted according to her values and realized that if somebody has bad stuff to say about her, it's because of what that person is thinking...not a reflection of her. She has plenty of admirers, too, after all.
• "One ball at a time--when you are present, you are in the zone." This is King's version of mindfulness. She could not have been such a successful player if she fixated on missed balls or what might be coming up later in the match. For her, being "in the zone" meant staying present for each and every ball. This reminds me of a quote by another famous King--Stephen King--that I used to share with students when I taught college English. King said, "When asked how I write, I invariably answer 'one word at a time.'" In addition to encouraging the practice of being present, this speaks to a powerful strategy for avoiding overwhelm. When you have a daunting task ahead of you, don't focus on the big end product. Break it down into steps and just take one at a time. You will get there if you just keep moving forward. 
• "Don't always speak to people like you; it's a much more fascinating world when you talk to people who think differently than you do."  I avoid politics on my blog, but I think it's safe to mention that our world is pretty divisive at present. If we can learn to listen without judgment to those who see the world differently, we can perhaps begin to understand each other better and build some bridges to a more productive and cooperative existence.
• "Women are always taught to be perfect and we're never going to be perfect so just forget it! You're perfect the way you are." No commentary needed on that one.
• "It's important to do well in your business and your life, but it's really important to DO GOOD. There are a lot of ways to give back. Every single person is an influencer." I want to end with this one because it is a powerful message. No matter what you do, you can influence others by living your life according to your values, holding yourself to a high standard, and doing good (no matter how small your actions may seem) in your community. 

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Thank you, Billie Jean King, for your wisdom and example!